Ryder Read online

  Today we'd find out if Rosalina was in any of the other realms; Matthew Oxwell, the new first command, was going on a mission across the realms to find Rosalina with the best knights. Both my father and King Arthur had joined the mission, leaving Catherine in full control of the castle and any problem that arose. Mother had been appointed her first in command until Father and Arthur returned.

  It was different to see them in power, but I understood why they were eligible to take rule in the absence of the King. I'd never seen Mother show so much of her power till this rotation; especially after a guard argued that a female shouldn't be in power.

  Catherine and Mother were not going to deal with any of that; the wave of power that left their bodies caused the court to tremble and bow down in submission. The guard was fired on the spot and since then, no one had dared defy either of them.

  The door opened, causing all three of us to look up to see King Arthur and Father. They looked utterly exhausted, as if they truly went to war and had just returned from the fierce battlefield.

  The guard closed the door, standing at attention. I could already imagine four guards outside in the hall; the new rule of all royals needing three guards with them at all times still in effect.

  Father and Arthur exchanged looks, approaching where the three of us sat. They stood in front of the sofa opposite of us, but he remained standing.

  "We've checked the remaining nine realms...the search has gone cold," Father announced.

  Cold...

  "The other realm royals believe Rosalina was taken into one of the facilities that have been recently discovered. We have no leads, but we are creating a team to start infiltrating and investigating their whereabouts," Arthur announced.

  Facilities...

  "Facilities? As in those places where they torture shifters and experiment on them?" Kade demanded.

  We glanced over at him— his eyes flickering from turquoise blue to a vibrant gold, over and over again. Arthur swallowed but nodded.

  "Yes..." he confirmed.

  The door opened— Catherine and Mother entered the room. Catherine's eyes landed on Kade who was trembling with anger.

  "So that's it? We've waited for an entire ROTATION for us to have zero leads? Nothing? All we know is my baby sister is in some hell hole of a facility where they experiment and kill shifters!" Kade snarled.

  "Kade," Arthur responded; a hint of his power flickered out in warning.

  That did nothing to stop Kade from continuing; in fact, it set him off.

  "How can you stand there with that blank face and not be mad?! Rosalina’s GONE! My sister is gone! Yet no one is mourning or crying! Everyone just gives excuse after excuse and after a full rotation you dare stand there and tell me the trail went COLD," he screamed.

  We flinched at the wave of power that hit us— so forceful the windows began to crack. Catherine walked forward her eyes shifting to a gold.

  "Kade Mackenzie Heart. Stop!" she ordered.

  "NO!" he screamed, the glass shattering into pieces. He turned and walked to the corner, kicking the wall over and over again.

  Catherine approached Kade, ignoring the waves of power flickering out from him.

  "I want my sister back! Where's Rosalina? I didn't get to kiss her goodnight or give her one last hug! I didn't get to give her the Sailor Moon toy she wanted...I didn't get...to...say how much I loved it when she laughed...or...how my heart hurt whenever she cried...I...didn't...get to say...how much I loved her..." he confessed before he broke down crying.

  Catherine pulled him into her arms, allowing him to cry. I could see the tears that rolled down her flushed cheeks as she consoled him; I turned my attention to Arthur who was blinking back tears. He took a glance at Xavier who had a blank expression on his face— his attention still on Kade whose wails echoed throughout the room, which had become stuffy with his release of power.

  Arthur made his way to Catherine and Kade, kneeling down to hug them both. Xavier bit his lip— his eyes flickering for a moment as he stared at his family before he got up, walking over to them and joining their hug.

  "Don't cry, Kade and Mommy. We'll find her," he whispered rubbing Catherine’s back. His words only made her cry harder; sobs escaped her while Kade continued to cry.

  I felt a hand land on my shoulder, my father looking down at me with a sad expression. His hand left my shoulder to brush against my cheek.

  I hadn't even realized I was crying— the tears leaving my eyes as they made their descent down my cheeks.

  Father knelt down, pulling me into a hug. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

  I knew from the tone of his voice, there was no hope. That was enough to let me retreat within myself, not caring if I lived or died. If Stryker wanted to take over, he was certainly welcome, cause I couldn't handle reality anymore. I didn't want to.

  I couldn't face the darkness without my shining light— without my Princess who always woke up with a smile.

  Without her laughs and little tantrums.

  Without her warm hugs and snuggles.

  Without her soft lips pressing against my cheek as she giggled in embarrassment.

  Without her...I was nothing.

  Rosalina...I failed you...

  Do you resent me? Or think ill of me?

  I'm sorry I didn't see the signs.

  I'm sorry I didn't force myself awake to check on you.

  I'm sorry I wasn't worthy enough to be your knight.

  I'm sorry.

  I'm so sorry.

  Rosalina...don't leave me.

  Please...

  I'm...sorry.

  TWO WEEKS LATER

  ~STRYKER~

  "You can go back. The examination is over." The nurse patted my shoulder, giving me a soft smile. I nodded, jumping off the medical table and making my way to the exit of the medical center.

  I didn't see the point. We didn't have a problem. My host was just dealing with a lot and decided he didn't want to take over.

  It had already been two weeks, or so the nurse reminded me since Ryder had been in a state of coma.

  I thought it was a stupid term to use, seeing as I was in control and able to function just fine. My host was just dealing with the reality that his first crush, the princess of Heila who he swore to protect and serve, was stolen and vanished without a trace and we'd potentially never see her again.

  The reality was that she could be in one of the facilities our classmates whispered about, the large secluded buildings that were across the realms, kidnapping shifters and conducting illegal experiments.

  The realization that Rosalina…might be dead...and we'd never get to say one last goodbye.

  I walked out of the medical center, turning the corner and heading toward my room on the other side of the castle. I didn't need to look forward, my body already knew exactly where it had to go. We'd been doing the same routine every single day for two straight weeks. I guess I should minus a day since that was when Ryder broke down, having an anxiety episode before accidentally setting a part of the castle on fire when we shifted.

  Mother had to take over, or should I say her spirit had to take over to calm us down. That was when Ryder gave up, hiding within himself and allowing me to take over.

  Apparently, we were the youngest to shift into our demon form, but that was soon tied with Kade, who had a mental break down that same day. He was now an inpatient in the psychiatric ward at the medical center, forced to stay in a room that was infused with magic to suppress his abilities.

  Kade took after the Queen, but after his demonstration of power, it was believed he'd surpass her if he wasn't contained. His angel spirit was in the same situation as I, having taken over completely as Kade hid within himself.

  Being an Archangel with the ability to manipulate others and summon thunder and lightning at his command was a big problem if he wasn't in the right mindset, thus leading to him receiving therapy and ongoing observation.

  Xavier seemed to be the only one not showi
ng any signs of mourning, and though that was good for the sake of the castle not crumbling to the ground, Father and Mother had stressed it was the most dangerous.

  I didn't quite understand, nor did I attempt to, but it did piss me off that he wasn't suffering like we were. Wasn't he upset that his sister was kidnapped? Or the fact she could be currently fighting in a pit of shifters for her life? Or...she could be dead.

  I wasn't mad at Ryder. If he wanted to stay asleep for cycles, I'd take care of his body till he was ready. I only had to focus when I ate. Other than that, I could zone out with any other activities.

  I was trying to not focus on the present…or I'd lose it too.

  Every night I'd visit the garden, expecting Rose to be standing there, looking up at the stars above. I could envision her smile, her rosy cheeks that burned with embarrassment when I kissed her on the cheek. Those beautiful royal purple eyes I'd come to love.

  Yet, every day it was the same— arriving at the empty courtyard, the unoccupied bench greeting me, and my Rose was nowhere to be found. I wasn't ready to accept she may be one with the stars above, and I'd end up going to bed before sundown— afraid to stare at the sky and think one of those stars was hers.

  I walked past the living room, my eyes catching a glimpse of brown curly locks. I stopped, lifting my eyes to see Anya quietly playing with her dolls. I looked down at the two little figures— one with a purple dress and one with a pink one.

  "Why don't we go on a trip to happy land, Rosalina?"

  "I'd love that. Let's go!"

  I frowned, knowing Anya had loved to play with Rosalina and hadn't fully grasped what was going on. I'd rarely seen her the last six weeks, Ryder and I were too busy dealing with our own issues to take the time to focus on our little sister.

  She noticed me staring, jumping up and rushing over to me. "Stryker?"

  I didn't reply, avoiding her big purple eyes. I felt her hand slide into mine, causing me to meet her gaze.

  "No one plays with me," she whispered.

  "...Sorry," I whispered back, not having anything else to say.

  "You can't play with me?" she asked.

  I shook my head.

  "Okay...tell Ryder I miss him too," she admitted, her shoulders falling as she looked at the floor.

  I blinked, taking a deep breath. I hated this. Everything that was happening. I loved Anya and in my mind, I wanted to please her and keep her company during this time, but I couldn't. I was on a thin tightrope, trying to balance myself from falling and I was struggling. One wrong move would lead me down a spiral of emotions that I couldn't afford to feel.

  There was so much I wanted to say, my heart begged for me to cry or show more emotion. But I couldn't afford to. If I started to cry...I wouldn't stop. I'd probably pass out like Ryder had before he woke up and lost it.

  If I let go of my emotions, I didn't know how I'd get out and there would be no one who could save me from myself. Rose could have...but...she isn't here.

  "Okay," I replied, letting go of her hand to begin my slow walk back to my room, the sun was already going down and I wanted to be in my room by the time the darkness descended.

  "Anya, what's wrong?"

  I paused at the voice— Xavier's low voiced questioned. I could hear Anya sniff.

  "Everyone's busy. Ryder won't come out to play and Stryker is sad. Mommy and Daddy are busy and no one will tell me where Rosalina is. I'm lonely," she cried, sobbing.

  "Hey. I'll play with you. But you can't be crying. Ryder’s just dealing with some stuff and Stryker misses him too. Your parents will have some time soon, but you promised to be a good girl, remember?"

  "Yeah," she whimpered.

  "My sister went somewhere far away and we have to work hard to find her. She didn't mean to leave you. You're best friends. You have to be strong for her."

  "Okay," she whispered.

  "Go wash your face and meet me in the playroom," he encouraged.

  I looked over my shoulder to see her nod, making her way out the hall. I noticed three guards nod in our direction before following Anya.

  Xavier turned to face me, frowning at my appearance. "You shouldn't ignore her, you know," he acknowledged.

  I huffed, turning around to make my way to my room. "You don't know anything," I argued.

  "I know your sister’s been asking to play with you ever since Ryder's breakdown and you've yet to put her needs before yours," Xavier countered.

  I stopped, clenching my fist. "Stop acting like you know shit."

  "Why don't you start acting like a brother?" he argued.

  I didn't realize my movement until my fist smashed into his face.

  He stood there— the sound of the impact vibrating in the air.

  "Why don't you shut the fuck up! Who do you think you are? Telling me how I should act! I shouldn't even be here. Yet, low and behold I am," I yelled. I could hear quick steps, noticing Anya's head pop out from the hall, I bit my lip— seeing her fearful eyes lock on mine made me regret my actions for a second.

  She disappeared, her footsteps fading away.

  "Who do I think I am? Well, I'm Xavier Mackenzie Heart, eldest son of the King and Queen of Heila who are currently dealing with the fact their only daughter was stolen from her sleeping chambers and could be in one of the hidden facilities across the realms, suffering endlessly. Or better yet, could be dead," he retorted, glaring at me.

  I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.

  "And here you are, CARTER JR., oh wait. He's hiding behind his spirit, aka YOU, because he can't face the reality that the girl he's had a crush on was taken from him too!" he yelled.

  I could feel movement within my mind— Ryder's essence lingering within my head, listening in.

  "Don't try to act like you know even a pinch of what my host is dealing with! You don't know shit!" I snarled.

  "I don't know shit? Try me, buddy. I should have never approved of you being her apparent knight. What happened to that, huh? It's been six weeks, but your ass is here sulking. Shouldn't you be finding your other comrades? Or are you ignoring the pull?"

  I froze, my right hand, which had begun to bruise from punching him, began to tremble. "What..."

  "So, you are ignoring it. Hah. I can't believe it. So much for being a knight. Winterlya told Father that it wouldn't be long till Rosalina's knights gathered somewhere in Heila, and that even though you were mourning, it would be hard for you to ignore it."

  I bit my lip, not wanting to admit he was right. Long before Ryder's breakdown, we could feel some type of pull— an urge to leave the castle and go somewhere. We couldn't understand where exactly we had to go, but we'd been fighting it, ignoring the pull day by day. But all it was doing was growing— getting stronger with each passing second and it was getting harder for even me to ignore.

  "Shut up," I whispered, Ryder was on the edge of my mind; his rage beginning to boil, making it even harder for me to stay still.

  "Why? You think I can’t sense Carter Jr. in there? What? Is he afraid to come out and play? Why don't you stop being a coward and face me! Give me the best you got. But of course, you won't. You couldn't even protect Rosalin—" he began, but my fist hit his face again, Ryder taking full control.

  ~RYDER~

  We both fell to the ground, my arm pulling back to smash my fist into his face for a third time.

  Again, and again, I punched him, needing an outlet. He didn't understand, no one understood what was going on with me.

  The feelings— the multiple waves of feelings that hit me since that day was endless. My gift had awakened, and I couldn't stand it.

  I could feel everything. The sadness that crippled Catherine as she stood there in front of her Realm and announced that their Princess had been kidnapped. The grief that drummed through Arthur as he entered the room, ready to tell us that the mission to retrieve the Princess had failed.

  The sadness and rage that plagued Kade as he cried. The heartache that my parents were f
acing as they watched their best friend’s family fall apart.

  The guards, maids, the emotions of the nation consumed my senses till it became hard to breathe. Then there was the pull— the sensation that I needed to be somewhere, needed to meet people like me.

  I could sense their emotions the most, the colors that appeared when I closed my eyes:

  Gold, the feelings of regret always laced his body image. I knew he was the polar opposite of my spirit— being of good and healing nature. But the emotions that leaked off him were ongoing regret, and I didn't know how to stop it from hitting me.

  Blue, a lovely sapphire blue that held a feeling of confusion. He was powerful, his spirit was just as strong, yet confusion leaked off him endlessly. He didn't understand why he was where he was or more importantly, where he should be.

  Green, the emerald color. Whoever this person was, he was a complicated mix of emotions— sadness, anger, confusion and more. And what scared me was how the color changed to pink, the sense of a female taking over. Her emotions were doubled, maybe tripled when she appeared and the strongest was fear. Crippling fear that made me tremble in the dark while I cried myself to sleep.

  Orange, the color reminded me of a flickering flame and he was filled with anger. The rage had no control or understanding. The built-up anger made me want to let loose and destroy everything in my path.

  And Finally...Red. The color had been vibrant before, but day after day it began to shift to a black- until the final speck of red was gone, leaving darkness in its place.

  Deep within my soul, I feared for this person the most. His essence was bright and filled with a sense of justice and now...he was nothing. It made me wonder if this person even existed, and if he did, what happened?

  All these emotions and I couldn't take it, deciding to hide in the depths of my mind. I thought it would stop, or slowly go away — but it didn't, growing stronger and stronger and I knew it wouldn't be long till Stryker would succumb to the multiple feelings, ignoring his own that was reaching its limit.

  "No one gets it! No one can feel what I'm feeling! Everything...I feel everything. And yet, you want me to be strong? To fulfill my duty as a knight? How? I FAILED HER! It’s because I couldn't see the signs. I noticed that she wasn't in my bed like she always was! Why didn't I go check? Maybe I could have prevented all of this. Maybe I could have stopped Kade from his mental break down or Anya from feeling so damn alone! Yet, here you are trying to call me a coward! You act like nothing happened! You haven't even shed a FUCKING TEAR!" I screamed, ready to punch him again when his hand stopped my fist.